I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
