SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
