Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
