I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Randomize
