Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
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