....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
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