so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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