Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
