Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
