Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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