Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
