Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
