I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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