god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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