thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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