hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
