i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
My boob is missing a layer of skin
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
