some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
