I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
