I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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