the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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