I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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