Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
you didnt know i had herpes?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
