Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Randomize
