he wants to bone in the snuggie
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
