there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
