I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Randomize
