Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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