I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
