It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize
