its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
