Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
