i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Randomize
