There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
