I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
