The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
