Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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