Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
