You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
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