it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
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