I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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