just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
