But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
