how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
accomplished twins. life is a go
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
