He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
