the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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