i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
