I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
