I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
