Tell her she can't have a vagina
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Randomize
