This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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