she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
