Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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