He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
