I need help removing her.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
