Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
