I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
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