those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
