Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
