i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
