I feel like I'm in dance class right now
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
