wake up i wanna do it froggy style
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Randomize
