Christians are straight up FREAKS
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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