Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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