..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
