You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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