peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
