I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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