i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Randomize
