YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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