i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
hell yes lets make some ravioli
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Randomize
