In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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