I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
