i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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