? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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