and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I need water and some morals
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
