i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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