We won't sleep together?
STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
