Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
