Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
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