Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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